4 Way Street Corner

I'm at this 4 way street corner and I don't know which direction to take! So many options and ideas. I'm full of wishes and dreams but is it reality? I'm in control I tell myself, I make my own decisions and make the path for myself but there's so many choices. I don't want to make the wrong one. I don't want to close a door that I will be a mistake in the end. I'm at this street corner with my hands in the air waiting for the wind to blow me in the right direction.

Someone

Someone will always be smarter

Some of their houses will be bigger

Someone will drive a better car

Their children will do better in school,

and their husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go, and ..love.. you and your circumstances.

Think about it! The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.

The most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.

The richest woman you know who has the car, the clothes and the house might be lonely.

And the word says .."if i have not love, I am nothing"..

So again LOVE you! LOVE who you are!

Look into the mirror in the morning and smile and say ..

I'm too BLESSED to be STRESSED..

and too anointed to be disappointed!

Winners make things happen loosers let things happen.

Love

I was looking for something to encourage me and I found this qoute. It's funny how just a few words can really make an impression. Read this, it might do something for you too if you're in the same boat.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. " --From "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"

Stand Still, Look Pretty

Stand Still, Look Pretty
By The Wreckers

I want to paint my face
And pretend that I am someone else
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don't even want to look at myself
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over


I am slowly falling apart I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty

Sometimes I find myself shaking
In the middle of the night
And then it hits me and I can't
Even believe this is my life
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I wish that everyone would go and shut their mouths
I'm not strong enough to deal with it

I'm slowly falling apart I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty.

Enlightened

What you think of me- I cannot change.
What you say about me- I cannot stop.
What you do to me- I cannot fight.

What I think- I can choose.
What I say- I can choose.
What I do- I can choose.

The wise do-- and don't regret it.

It's what's going on in your head that's important-- not what's going on in theirs.

Knock Knock, I'm here...

I want you to listen to me.

I want you to act like you care.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm always in the background.

I have a lot to say and share.

Can you just listen?

I want to be heard!

Without it turning into anything.

Just care.

Re-Evaluating

I think when you lose someone close, you tend to have feelings of regret. With my Grandpa passing away, there are so many things I wish I said to him. I wish the last time I drove through his town that I just stopped by. I figured there would always to be another time. I was wrong. It's too bad I did not think about any of this before. I have done this with several people throughout my life and with them it's not too late and I will act upon it. The regret is something I will carry for the rest of my life about my Grandpa. He will never know how I really felt about him. I just want to hug him one last time. Kiss is sun-kissed cheek and tell him I love him. With this, I am learning that I can't let this happen again with anybody. I hope this is not just a short term thing. I want this to be a permanent change.

I love you Grandpa and from you I have learned a lesson. Thank you.

25 Things About Me You Might Not Know.

These are 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about me. You should do it too!

1. I have a heart shaped birth mark on my stomach.

2. If I wasn't planning on working in the medical field I would get a half sleeve of tattoos on my left arm.

3. Marriage scares me and I honestly don't know if I ever could do it, but the idea of planning a wedding and getting all dressed up is exciting.

4. Dating a guy with kids has been one of the most challenging things I have ever done so far.

5. I want to go to New York City within the next 5 years.

6. I watch more reality tv then anything else.

7. I do have regrets.

8. I have struggled with my weight ever since I was about 10 years old.

9. I don't really collect anything but if I see something zebra print I am tempted to buy it.

10. I want my nose pierced but feel my nose is just not the right shape for it.

11. I have freckles on my lips.

12. I had minor plastic surgery on the skin below my eye when I was little because I cut it open on a play pen.

13. I plan on becoming a nurse, working in women's health.

14. I was such a tomboy growing up, digging for bugs and climbing trees.

15. I think Scrubs is the best show ever, and I have seen all 7 Seasons and own them on dvd.

16. I haven't been to the casino to gamble. I just don't see the point.

17. I have gone fishing several times and have yet to actually catch one.

18. My nickname from my parents is Cheerio Kid. I ate them alot when I was a baby and they always seemed to be stuck to me.

19. I am so excited about my future, yet at the same time I'm so scared of the unknown.

20. I would like to get into photography once I can buy a good camera, a single picture can say so much.

21. Karaoke is so much fun!

22. I hope that someday I have a boy. I get such a kick out of little boys! Girls are fun too, but I am one and it would be fun to see the world from a boys view.

23. I really don't like cooking. I do it to try to feel more motherly but I'd rather stick something in a microwave and call it good. I am so afraid that my food will turn out terrible.

24. I want to someday open up a bakery, with gaint cupcakes and fun cookies!

25. I'm learning more and more about myself everyday.

Spinning Round and Round

It's been about a month since I've written. I just have not felt like I had anything good to say. It has been such a hard month! Plenty of soul searching, praying and growing.

First of all, my Dad is really sick. It's been going on since September. Test after test, no results still. We don't want to think the worst but that is one of the few things left that has not been discovered. He is on my mind all the time. I told one of my good friends how I felt about him being sick and how our relationship has never been good and how that is affecting me. She suggested that I write him a letter since I can't seem to have a good conversation with him, which was a great idea and I will be doing that very soon. Please keep my Dad in your prayers.

My friends are so important to me.I have about a handful that I can call my good friends and I hope to never lose them! All of them have such good qualities and make me see things differently. Thank you for letting me be in your life!

I have met a lady named Maglena last week. She has touched my heart so much in such a small amount of time! She is an 86 year old that lives next to someone that I clean for. She has such a spirit about her. You look into her eyes and you see life! I took her shopping to get some clothes and she was alot of fun! We slowly shuffled around Wal-Mart looking for jammies and shirts. Very quick-witted! There is just something about her that makes me feel joy. You know she doesn't take a beautiful day for granted, or a good friend. I hope that I can be more like her. She has inspired me!

One Down, More to Go

I have a problem with money and I am not afraid to admit it. I also have a problem with facing reality sometimes. That is a huge reason why I got myself in such a mess with debt. Anyway, I'm not going to go into much detail but I did have one debt that was going to the courts and I do not have the $5oo an hour it costs and all the other fees they were telling me I had to come up with. They offered to cut the whole thing and half if I could but down a nice lump sum. Thankfully financial aid just came I was able to call them and give them a few hundred and then the plan is to call every week and pay $100 until it is paid off. Which will take about a month. For those of you that don't have problems with money, I really don't think you could understand that the way I feel today. It is almost a bittersweet thing. I love to look into my account and see money. I feel better about myself when I know I have money. The reality of it is that I had to do this even though I was trying to think of ways out of it. The woman I worked with was nice but gave me a slap in the face for running from them. It hurt. I was embrassed she called me out. It worked though. I gave her the check number over the phone and before she hung up she told me congratulations. I cried. Congratulations on getting a grip and realizing what needs to be done. I have ran long enough and found ways to hide, but it only causes me more stress and agony. This is such a small step but it felt like I took a leap today. My mom gave me encouraging words and explained that once I get the ball rolling on this I will feel 10 times better. I got the ball rolling today and she was right, I feel good. This is just one step so I know there are many obstacles to come.

Trying to See the Bright Side

I feel like I am on a teeter totter, going up and down, up and down.
No I am not depressed, just feeling so high one moment on life and the next not so high.
The littlest things make me happy, but what also comes with that is the littlest things bring me down.
Rob pointed out to me the last few days that I am pessimistic, naturally I defended myself, but then I realized he was probably right. He is the one looking from the outside. Even my title for my blog 'glass half full', boy I feel like a hypocrite!
I was sitting in math class today when I think I pin-pointed one reason why I meant be this so called pessimistic:

I don't like to be set up for disappointment.

I am not trying to pull a poor Megan, it is just that I have been let down so much I have somewhat of a guard up. It could be the simplest thing that lets me down. So I just figure it won't work out or happen, that way when it doesn't...I am not disappointed. Makes sense right?
But wow that is a negative attitude. It is even really showing in my relationship with Rob.
I doubt that he really loves me for me sometimes, that he could actually love my body, or even my personality. I think it roots from my low self esteem. But with that issue aside, I really need to fix this. I can really push people away that I love. What fun am I really to be around when I am like that? I always wanted to be that person who everyone wanted to be around. The go-to girl.

I can not promise myself or anybody else that I will not be negative about things, I think it is somewhat in my genes if that is possible. I can promise though, that I will try my best to not throw out a negative comment the instead I think of it, try to think more positive and see the brighter side of things.

Welcoming Myself.

Hey guys! I am just going to write a short blog to get started.

I recently have decided it's time to shed some poundage. I have decided it's time to have more confidence in myself, and also to look at life with a more positive attitude.

A few of my friends have their own blog and have encouraged me to write so here I am.

I am not a very creative writer like my sister and mom, but bear with me!



I am looking forward to this term. I have never been a great student but I am so ready to give more. The health care field is where my heart is so I am happy to finally know that I am atleast on the right path, maybe not the exact job I want (certified medical assistant) but it is getting my foot in the door for possibly becoming a nurse.

So here is my first post and I am sure there will be plenty more to follow. :D